Cultivating Minds - Teen Edition #5

 How can a Teen Group help?

I hope you have been following this email subscription/blog for strategies to help your teen overcome anxiety.  At the end of each entry, you may have noticed a space to contact me for more support.  Typically, parents reach out to me for individual therapy so their teen can talk through their problems and learn coping strategies.  But did you know we also offer GROUP therapy?  

Group therapy works differently than individual in that there are multiple individuals present to work through their problems and learn coping strategies.  These groups typically meet every week or every other week.  

There are several advantages to utilizing a group therapy process:

• Shared concerns, feelings of not being alone in their problems

• Feel heard and supported by peers, not just by the therapist

• Safe environment to practice new coping skills with peers

• Build confidence in practicing skills within own age group before practicing in larger social settings

One of the things I hear a lot from parents is that their child isn't comfortable speaking in front of others and prefers an individual setting. We honor those preferences, however you may want to consider requesting your child "try out" a few sessions of group to see if group might actually be helpful and doable.

Here's a few more facts around our Teen Groups:

• Focused on high school age teens

• Meet 6-10 weeks

• Teens must join within first 2 group sessions then plan to attend throughout duration

• Sessions are 1.5 hours in length

• Often include activities including creative, active, and practice

If you are concerned about your teen and would be interested in support through one of our Teen Groups, click below.

Find Out More

 If you believe your teen needs immediate assistance please contact us:

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Cultivating Minds - Teen Edition #4

Does your teen have SOCIAL Anxiety?

Does your child say they just don't like people? They want to stay in their room and watch YouTube and TikTok?  Do you worry that they are only talking to friends online rather than engaging in physical social relationships? Maybe they make plans then back out at the last minute?

Teens today are often more used to interacting online, making friends all over the world.  Are they avoiding social relationships due to social anxiety?  Do they perhaps have underlying fears of being judged or lacking skills to communicate with others?   Is it possible that social anxiety is the root cause of their lack of interactions rather than moodiness or laziness?

The National Institute of Mental Health reported in 2019 Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) affects 1 out of 3 adolescents between 13 and 18 years old.  Adolescents at risk for SAD include those who have experienced long term stress or trauma.  The effects of COVID could be one of these risk factors.

What to look for:
-Fear of being judged, humiliated, or embarrassed by others
-Avoidance of social situations
-Excessive anxiety out of proportion to the situation
-Anxiety or distress that interferes with daily living
-Panic attacks in social situations.

How to help:
1. "Face your fears and they will go away" is not the first step.  It is important to allow your child to work at his/her own pace.
2.  Normalize and validate feelings.  Try to avoid highlighting as a problem and continue to support by validating their feelings and discussing next steps.
3. Talk about the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  Ask, "What negative belief about yourself are you thinking right now?"  "What emotion are you feeling?" 
4.  Help your teen develop a positive belief statement about themselves.
5.  Make small steps toward social interactions, offer opportunities for one-on-one peer interactions or small groups that perhaps have not had as much anxiety.  

If you are concerned about your teen and would be interested in support through one of our Teen Groups, click below.

Find Out More

 If you believe your teen needs immediate assistance please contact us:

Contact Us

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Cultivating Minds - Teen Edition #3

Does your teen seem to be overly aware of their health concerns or mental health concerns?  Perhaps they already have a medical condition but are constantly worried about increased symptoms or even symptoms that might be related to other conditions?  Are they afraid to go places for fear their anxiety will be too much, or that their diabetes will be too much to handle?  Maybe they automatically go to web searches on their symptoms that might be a cold or a headache but they begin to believe they have a serious illness.  Do they complain of headaches, stomach aches, or are constantly evaluating their body?

 Here’s how you can help!

1. Validate the fear/worries- your child is experiencing anxiety that is causing a reaction in them in which they truly BELIEVE something is happening to them.

2. Help them to think of alternatives to the worst case scenario.

3. Reassure them they can handle this and you are there to support.

4. Model and practice calm breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and other calming activities to decrease level of anxiety.

These techniques will help to challenge the worry and increase your teen’s ability to tolerate the anxiety. Your teen can live a full life, including spending time with friends and family as well as going to school and other events.  If your child continues to struggle, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.  You can also contact us.

More tools for helping teens with anxiety to come!

If you think your teen might be interested in joining one of our support groups, please complete this form so we can contact you about our next group.

Be sure to join our email list so you don’t miss out on future posts!

Questions or concerns? Email Melissa at melissa@cultivating.live

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 Social Anxiety

 How groups can help teens overcome anxiety

IG: #melissamcgeelpc, #teen.strategies

Cultivating Minds - Teen Edition #2

There's a lot of pressure on our teens as they start a new school year.  Do you hear any of these concerns from your teen?

Will school feel like it used to before COVID? 

How am I going to sit in classes all day when I was able to do my work when I wanted at home, even doing it in the middle of the night if I wanted? 

I have no idea what I actually learned last year, will I be able to keep up this year? 

What if I failed classes, will I be sitting with younger classmates and be embarrassed? 

I haven't had to be in large crowds in over a year.  Can I handle the cafeteria and the halls? 

What if I panic?  I will be so embarrassed if I have an anxiety attack!   

I don't have any friends at this school, what if no one likes me?

Transitioning back into school can be tough!  As a parent, you can help process their concerns by not immediately trying to fix the problem. Here's some steps that can help:

Validate: learn about and accept their feelings

Allow feelings: let them feel their feelings rather than shoving them away/avoiding or pushing down inside

Ask what they need:

"Would you like to space to process their emotions or would like you to be around for support?"

"Would like some ideas/other perspective for solving the problem?"

Transition: assist in moving to a positive activity

If you are concerned about your teen and would be interested in support with via Teen Group, please be sure you are subscribed to our newsletter for more details to come.  You can also let us know you are interested by clicking here. If you believe your teen needs immediate assistance please contact us.

 

Upcoming:

Teens worried about health

Social Anxiety

IG: #melissamcgeelpc, #teen.strategies

Cultivating Minds - Teen Edition #1

Do you suspect your teen has anxiety?  Let's take a look!  Here are some of the common signs:

-shyness

-avoidance of social activities and/or school

-somatic concerns including frequent headaches and stomachaches

-fatigue

-trouble sleeping

-restlessness

-trouble focusing

-easily startled

-irritable

-fear of making the wrong decision

-overthinking, thinks in worst case scenario

-lack of confidence

These symptoms can also be attributed to other concerns outside of anxiety, however here are some strategies that might help:

-Validate your child's feelings, don't minimize or rationalize.

"It sounds like you are really nervous about making the right choice for your classes.  Let me know how I can help."

"That really seems like a scary situation for you.  What would help you feel better?"

-Provide structure.

Encourage a routine of sleep and wake times, family meals, time for homework.

Request teen attempts going to school and/or social activities; then if they can't stay for a predetermined period of time, allow them to come home.

-Model positive thinking.

"I am nervous about a meeting at work tomorrow.  I think I'll do some deep breathing exercises before the meeting so I can feel calmer".

-Allow for down time and breaks.

Especially when starting something new such as starting school or attending a new activity, allow time in their schedule during the week and/or weekend for rest and relaxation.  They may need to watch videos, go outside, or do another enjoyable activity.

 -Be Flexible and monitor.

While structure and routine are important, be sure to monitor for signs that your teen is experiencing increased anxiety and may need to allowed a break from an activity or go in late to school one day.  Sometimes a little flexibility goes a long way.

If you are concerned about your teen and would be interested in support with via Teen Group, please click here.

If you believe your teen needs immediate assistance please contact us.

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The first weeks of school

Teens worried about health

Shedding & Shielding

Empaths are often drawn to water and the outdoors, so using visualizations involving these can be especially powerful. The visualizations below are to either “shed” the extra energy that does not belong or “shield” the empath from energy that does not belong.

Begin with an Energy Scan: Bring your awareness into your body and scan with your mind to see if there is anything that doesn’t feel like “you”, starting from the head down. For example you might feel a heaviness in your chest that doesn’t feel like yours, an image, or a color that doesn’t belong. Once you have found energy that doesn’t belong, investigate what it is and who it belongs to. Is it residual emotion from your own experience, or could it be something that actually belongs to someone else?

1. Sequencing: Imagine a big, transformational bonfire in front of you. Notice where in your body the stuck/extra energy resides and invite it to begin to move out your hands by shaking your hands vigorously into the fire. Imagine the energy moving through your hands into the fire. Then, do the same thing with your feet, releasing any tension or others’ energy out the bottom of your feet by shaking your leg into the fire. If you like, stand up and shake your whole body to release everything into the fire. Notice how you feel after.

2. Stickers: Notice the extra energy that does not belong to you as if they are grass burrs/stickers that have attached to you. Pick each one off, examine it, then imagine taking that energy into your hand, wrapping it in love/power from God, then sending back to the person or to God.

3. Sacred Container: In this practice you will practice placing loved ones in a Sacred Container to be attended to by God. Imagine a safe, healing calm environment to come into focus (nature, altar, etc.) noticing the healing energy that surrounds it from God. When you feel ready, hand over the person and/or their energy to that Sacred Container, allowing God to hold them instead of you. Next say “I hand this over to you” and allow the Sacred Container to move off in the distance.

4. Shielding: Sometimes empaths may struggle with shielding themselves from the energy from others, especially those who they care about. Shielding can help by developing a barrier between the empath and others; this might be imagining a large bubble, armor, a glass wall, or some other type of shield to allow the empath to continue to communicate with others yet allow extra emotions and energy to bounce off the barrier.

~Melissa McGee, MA, LPC-S

Sources: Sweigh Emily Spilkin, Empath Mastery, www.thresholdshealing.com

Dr. Judith Orloff, www.drjudithorloff.com

Are you an Empath?

In my practice lately, I am finding many of my clients are empaths. As a fellow empath, I understand the care and safety they need in order to identify their empathic qualities and learn how to balance using their gifts without overspending themselves.

So, what is an empath? Dr. Judith Orloff defines empaths as highly sensitive people who feel everything and use intuition as the filter to experience their world. I often begin to suspect a client is an empath when they feel their emotions deeply, seem to carry excess emotions including the emotions of others, and often feel drained in their life.

First, we begin with Dr. Orloff’s Quiz:

1. Have I been labeled as “overly sensitive,” shy, or introverted?

2. Do I frequently get overwhelmed or anxious?

3. Do arguments or yelling make me ill?

4. Do I often feel like I don’t fit in?

5. Am I drained by crowds and need alone time to revive myself?

6. Am I over stimulated by noise, odors, or non-stop talkers?

7. Do I have chemical sensitivities or can’t tolerate scratchy clothes?

8. Do I prefer taking my own car places so I can leave early if I need to?

9. Do I overeat to cope with stress?

10. Am I afraid of becoming suffocated by intimate relationships?

11. Do I startle easily?

12. Do I react strongly to caffeine or medications?

13. Do I have a low pain threshold?

14. Do I tend to socially isolate?

15. Do I absorb other people’s stress, emotions, or symptoms?

16. Am I overwhelmed by multitasking and prefer doing one thing at a time?

17. Do I replenish myself in nature?

18. Do I need a long time to recuperate after being with difficult people or energy vampires?

19. Do I feel better in small cities or the country than large cities?

20. Do I prefer one-to-one interactions or small groups rather than large gatherings?

Answering yes:

1-5 questions = partial empath

6-10 = moderate empath tendencies

11-15 = strong empath tendencies

More than 15 = full empath

Typically empaths actually feel the emotions of others and may even experience the physical pain of others. Are you more sensitive, intuitive, and creative? Do you become overwhelmed, leading to exhaustion or overstimulation? More to come on strategies to shield and shed that energy!

~Melissa McGee, MA, LPC-S

Source: https://drjudithorloff.com/

Wait time

In my sessions this week I’ve noticed using the phrase “wait time” a couple times. I’m pretty sure I got the phrase from my time in education, “give the student wait time”, to allow time to process and answer. How does that work in your life? Maybe your significant other needs a pause, or “wait time” before answering your questions. Or maybe you need “wait time” before addressing an issue.
Our world moves at such a fast pace and we are often struggling to juggle all the stress. Sometimes we feel forced to answer right away or make the decision. But what if we gave ourselves “wait time”? What if we took the time to take a breath, check in with ourselves, see what our bodies and emotions are telling us? Would that change our answers? And if we allowed others to do the same, would we communicate in healthier and more authentic ways?

Whether the “wait time” is a few minutes or a few days, consider the possibilities…